


Why Didn't You Save Me?

by HolyKingWasteLand



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: S01e13 Take Me Back to Hell, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gunshot Wounds, He loves his Decker girls, Hurt Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Protective Lucifer, Protective Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Season 1 Spoilers, Soft Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), We Die Like Men, Worried Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 00:43:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18435509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyKingWasteLand/pseuds/HolyKingWasteLand
Summary: Lucifer has a nightmare of that god-awful night at the warehouse; except, in his nightmare, he doesn't save the child in time.





	Why Didn't You Save Me?

_"Malcolm has Trixie."_

_The words echo in his head. That poor excuse of a human has the Detective's child?_

_The world blurs and suddenly he's watching Beatrice, held by the arm, that trash human being keeping her there while the Detective cries. He wants to step forward, he needs to. But he can't move._

_He screams, but the sound is muted. He tries to move, but everything is locked in place._

_"And the money."  
_

_"Not without Trixie," The Detective says, shaking her head. "That's the deal."_

_Malcolm doesn't look like much, but his longing for Heaven drives him further into insanity. His grip tightens on Beatrice's arm and she cries out in pain. Lucifer feels anger well up in the pit of his stomach. Oh how he wants to grind Malcolm's face into the fiery pits of Hell.._

_Then the image shifts again, suddenly Malcolm is gone. So is the Detective, but his mind is searching for the child. Why did he care so much? It's not as if he's ever liked the Detective's offspring._

_But then the girl is standing in front of him, she's not smiling or hugging him like she usually does. Her head is looking down at the floor and her arms are swinging by her sides. She frowns and looks up at him._

_"Why didn't you save me?"_

_The words skewer through his heart as the muscle stops beating._

_"W-what?" He asks, baffled by the question... until he looks down. Three bullet holes in her chest. She looks... disappointed._

 

* * *

 

Lucifer shoots up in bed, letting out a scream of; "Beatrice!"

It's all silent. He looks around, confused, until he notices where he is and realises that it was all just a nightmare. He shakes himself. How silly, the king of Hell (retired king, he reminds himself) being so shaken by a little girl.

He doesn't know how long he sits there for, knees pressed up into his chest as he sits on the bed, arms curled around them, keeping them there.

He keeps his eyes closed and manages his breathing. Then he looks to his phone, turning it on to see the time.  _3:49 am,_ it reads. He doesn't try going back to sleep, knowing it will be futile, so he gets up and goes for a shower.

 

* * *

 

Without knocking, Lucifer opens the door to Chloe's house. Looking around the spacious area before he hears the cry of: "Lucifer!" and then a small human is attached to his legs.

Usually he would pat her head and will her away, but he can't seem to manage that today. He smiles warily and swoops down, lifting Beatrice into his arms. The look of surprise on her face morphs into joy as she hugs around his neck tightly. He hugs her back, nuzzling the side of her head with his cheek.

The Detective still hasn't come out from... wherever she's hiding, but he can't bring himself to wonder. He pulls away and looks Trixie in the eyes. "Pancakes?" He asks, and her squeal of excitement is all the answer he needs before he places her on his hip and starts collecting ingredients.

Flour (Self Raising), Milk, Egg, Sugar, and a dash of cinnamon. He whisks them together, Beatrice holding the bowl while he stirs it with his free hand.

Then, together, they pour some batter into the buttered pan, listening to the sizzle as it cooks. He puts the bowl and spoon down, and then dances smoothly around the kitchen, making Beatrice giggle.

He has to keep an eye on the food, but listening to how jovial and  _alive_ the child is.. he nearly forgets about it. Getting lost in the fact that he hadn't come too late, that Beatrice was, in fact, still breathing. And has no physical scars to show for it.

The smell of pancakes reaches him and he quickly remembers, flipping the cooked batter to reveal a perfectly golden pancake. The two share a look, and they continue cooking together until all the batter is done, and Lucifer sits Trixie at the bench to eat while he does the dishes.

"What's this?" A familiar voice asks, and he turns to face her. His suit is hanging up over the back of a chair, and his white button-up is folded up to his elbows to leave room for the bubbles. He grins at the Detective and pulls his hands out of the basin, drying them with a tea-towel.

"Why good morning Detective! The spawn and I decided on pancakes for breakfast. Care to join us?" He gestures to the stack of pancakes and her eyebrows raise, she nods slightly.

"Right, well as much as I'd love to, Trixie has to get to school, and I just got called in for a new case." She kisses her daughter on the forehead. "Go grab your things, babe."

"Thanks Lucifer!" Trixie calls behind her, running off to grab her schoolbag.

The Detective smiles at her daughter and then looks over to see Lucifer watching Trixie carefully, and she imagines that's what she looks like when she's worrying about her daughter.

"What'd she say?" The Detective asks, watching how Lucifer snaps back to the present and looks over to her with wider that normal eyes. Then he relaxes with a grin.

"Oh, nothing Detective. Now, about this case...."

 

* * *

 

The Detective takes a deep breath after getting off the phone with her ex-husband. She pinches the bridge of her nose and shakes her head, muttering under her breath. Lucifer wanders over to her and leans on the desk. "What's wrong, Detective?" He asks, tilting his head to the side.

She looks up with tired eyes and shakes her head again. "I called Dan to ask if her could pick up Trixie because I'm absolutely swamped with paperwork, but he said he can't because of some bullshit reason-"

"You need someone to pick up the spawn?" He asks, interrupting her spiel about Detective Douche. She nods once. "Oh perfect! I can go collect the little devil for you!" He grins, clapping his hands together with finality, standing up once again.

"Wait what? Lucifer you don't have to, I know how you hate 'sticky fingers in your Corvette'." She quotes with an amused smile.

"Oh nonsense Detective, she's not really that sticky." He admits. "Have you ever known me to lie?"

A beat, the Detective thinks. "No, but-"

"Then it's settled. I'll collect Beatrice and bring her back here!" He walks away, a skip in his step as he hears the indignant stammering from the desk behind him.

It was as good as an excuse as any, he'd be able to make sure the child was alright, and that his dream was really just that- a dream.

He gets in the elevator and goes on his way.

 

* * *

 

Arriving at the school, Lucifer leans against his car as he awaits the bell. Several mothers are looking at him, and he's flattered, but he's only here for one little girl.

"Lucifer!" Trixie shouts, excitement present in her voice. He grins and kneels down, catching Trixie in a hug as he stands again, taking her up with him. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but where's mommy?" She asks, looking into his car and finds it empty.

"The Detective couldn't come because of work, but we'll be going there now, so hop in and seat-belt on." He explains, placing her down on the ground before opening the passenger-side door for her.

She giggles, "Thank you!" And climbs into the car, clicking in her seat-belt.

He steps over to his side and climbs in as well, all legs. He starts up the car, and with a grin akin to a Cheshire cat directed at Beatrice, they are off.

 

* * *

 

Lucifer gets out of the car, holds open the door for the spawn, and then laughs when she clings to his legs. A few police officers look at the pair with either weird looks, or kind smiles. Lucifer shakes his head softly and tries to shake the child off, but she stubbornly holds on and looks up at him with a pout.

They hold eye contact for a moment. Lucifer was creator of the puppy dog eyes, he wasn't one to fall victim to it.

....But she looked so pleading, so with a sigh (and an amused smile) he lifts the child into his arms and carries get away from the car.

They take the elevator up, waving hello to a few people Beatrice and Lucifer both recognise.

The doors open up and Lucifer steps out, holding Beatrice on his right hip, bouncing her lightly as the girl dissolves into giggles at some office chatter.

The Detective looks over at them in shock, Lucifer? Holding a  _child?_  It seems Ella has the same thoughts because she approaches the Devil with amused surprise.

"Hey Trix," Ella greets, giving Beatrice a fist bump

"Hey Ella!" Beatrice grins back, fisting her hand in Lucifer's shirt again. The Devil doesn't seem to notice- or if he does, he doesn't say anything.

"You guys bonding?" The forensics scientist asks, and then he notices the stack of papers she's holding.

"Ah, yes, that we are Miss Lopez." He grins, shifting Beatrice so he can take the papers from her. "But I'm sure we can take a break to assist you." He takes them carefully and ignores her protests.

She huffs out a laugh and then shakes her head. "Well alright, follow me then." She walks throughout the precinct and Lucifer and Beatrice follow. They enter the lab and Lucifer sets down the papers. "So," She takes a seat on one of the lab chairs and gestures to the pair. "What's happening here? I thought you didn't like kids, Lucifer."

Lucifer swallows thickly, he can't really get out of this without lying somehow... "I had a dream." He explains shortly.

"A dream?" She asks.

He nods, takes a seat with Beatrice on his lap, and elaborates. "That night.. when Malcolm had Trixie." She nods for him to continue, and even Beatrice is watching in concern. "I dreamt I couldn't save her." The words get choked in his throat and he has to look away from her, exhaling softly.

"Ah," She says softly, nodding. "Yeah, nightmares suck. But Trixie's still alive, she's right here." Ella again gestures to Beatrice, to which Lucifer's hold tightens on her just barely- but noticeable. Something protective flickers in his eyes and Ella's own widen in realisation. "Oh."

"What?"

"No, no it's nothing just- you're scared." She looks almost fascinated by this revelation. He flushes and baulks indignantly.

"I-I'm- what?" He startles, but his grip on the Detective's daughter doesn't let up.

"You're scared of losing her. It's okay Lucifer, it's normal." She explains, shrugging. "You both went though a traumatic experience and now you want to be close to her, make sure she's okay. It happens to parents after any incident involving their kids."

"No no- that wasn't-" He laughs incredulously. "That was anything but traumatic!"

Ella smiles and nods. "Okay, then give Trixie to me." She holds out her arms and Lucifer tenses, clutching Beatrice to his chest with wide eyes. Ella smirks slightly and stands up, taking a step closer; to which Lucifer stumbles off his seat and steps back into the wall, growling territoriality.

Ella puts her hands on her hips and juts one out with a bigger smug smirk that reads, 'I told you so'. Lucifer lets out a breath and looks down at the ground, embarrassed.

"Alright, so maybe.. maybe I am...." He struggles with the word. " _Afraid_  of losing Beatrice.. B-but I don't- I don't know _why_."

"Yeah ya do," She says softly, retaking her seat. "Just like you love Chloe, you love her kid too, just.. differently." He has nothing to say against that, and he finds himself realising that he does, in fact, love Beatrice.

It's a weird revelation.

"Well, as much as I love this.. heart to heart-" He clears his throat and shifts a grinning Beatrice to his opposite side, Ella stands and smiles widely.

"Right of course, well, I gotta get back to work- talk to ya later Luci, see ya Trix." She bids them goodbye with a pair of finger guns and he rolls his eyes, exiting the room as Beatrice laughs and waves.

They walk through the precinct once more and Lucifer sets Beatrice down on the Detective's desk, watching as she lifts her head to look up at him.

"Yesterday you couldn't even stand her touching you, and now you're carrying her? My my Lucifer, I'd say you're getting attached." The Detective jokes with a laugh, petting her daughter's hair fondly.

Lucifer looks from the Detective to her spawn, and smiles softly, "Yes, so would I, Detective."


End file.
